The Crying Chronicles
11:02 AM
Colic. You Bitch.
You have taken what is supposed to be a great bonding time
with my newborn and made it so stressful!
If I never heard the word colic ever again it would be too
soon. Most people know colic as the endless crying from a newborn, but I am not
sure many people have experienced the epic, hours long crying I have to deal
with almost on a daily basis.
It’s work to deal with a colicky baby. As I write this she
finally went to sleep. It’s 3 p.m. and she had been up since 7 a.m. No nap, two
poops and several ounces of food. So what did she do in the middle of all that?
Mostly cry. She’d cry if she was in one position too long, she would cry if she
was set down, she would cry if she was held, she would cry sometimes with the
bottle in her mouth, she would cry if she had a clean diaper… endless.
The terrible thing about colic is there is NOTHING. YOU.
CAN. DO. There are things that help – the gas drops and probiotic but most of
the time it’s you just trying anything and everything to have her not cry. Bouncing,
walking, rubbing, soothing, anything! But it’s hard when your baby doesn’t want
a pacifier. We’ve tried the Happiest Baby on the Block, but as I have written
about before she hates the “traditional” swaddle and pacifier, so I am down two
S’s.
It’s so sad as a parent to go through this. At some point
you end up just crying with them. Because there is NOTHING. YOU. CAN. DO.
My only solace is that colic doesn’t last forever. At some
point I will have my baby back. I will have time to bond with her and love her
like I thought I would from the get-go. There is a light at the end of the
tunnel but when you are in it, it’s so hard to see. My visions of us strolling
through the mall or outside before I went back to work are gone. Colic usually
lasts three months, sometimes more and I go back to work when she is three
months. It is just too stressful for me to go out and worry if
she is going to “explode” into a fit. People look at you, they judge you and
they wonder why you can’t control your kid. I know I shouldn’t care what people
think, but I am not going to go out to eat and ruin someone else’s dinner or
time outside. I’ll just wait it out.
I thought before I had her I would host a ‘Sip & See’ so
friends and family could come over and we would snack and show off the baby.
Once I realized what was happening I quickly removed that from my calendar and thought
process. I have put off friends from coming over because having a constantly
fussy baby is not only tiring, it is embarrassing. Why? Because again it makes
you seem like you don’t know how to be a parent. And so many people will say,
“Don’t talk like that! She’s a newborn, they cry.” It’s more in my head. It’s
hard to visit and show off a baby who is screaming bloody murder. And I don’t
want people to see this beautiful little girl act like a monster. I’m tired,
I’m worn out and then she’s a crazy person. So if I have put you off coming to
see her, know I am sorry but it’s hard right now.
For those friends that have been there and reached out,
thank you. To be able to commiserate helps. To know it gets better helps.
So let’s get real – instead of only posting smiling and
sweet sleeping baby pictures, this is what it is mostly like:
Just because I needed to read more about what I was dealing
with here are two blogs that I screamed yes, yes, yes to when reading.
Everything they talked about, I felt like I was writing it. So if you feel you
want to put yourself in my shoes read this and this.
Even though with the second I am not post-colic I still feel a bit of jealousy
when I see or hear people enjoying their sweet baby.
Ps. She woke up 30 minutes into writing this.. more crying..
from 3:30 until when I bathed her at 8 p.m. and she finally went to sleep… this
is my mom life.
Posts
7 comments
This is the exact reason we had to go to ready to feed. When we would make her powdered formula, there were so many bubbles. We tried gas drops in the formula, the pink gas drops, swirling the formula, spooning out the bubbles. Nope.everyone told us there was no difference between powdered and ready to mix. There is though! Hyland gas drops worked. That damn Baby Got Colic from itunes worked too. Played very loud as disturbing as it is. Has she been checked for reflux? My daughter hated swaddles and I finally had to cosleep, something I said I'd never do. We propped up her Co-sleeper, blaring that disturbing music from the app. I decided, screw it, I'm getting out of this house. Screaming or not, we just got out. Walks, target, I didn't care. It was survival mode until about month 3 when we figured out her formula. Everyone only pays the best stuff online, so ignore all of the sweet baby posts, lol. Don't wish to far ahead though, we are in 6 month sleep regression and teething. .I feel like I'm a zombie ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Bobbi! I am going to talk to the doctor even more when we go for our two month appointment. Which Ready to Feed are you on? I am going to look up the Baby Got Colic on iTunes. I cannot wait to see what it is. And no, she hasn't been checked for reflux but she does gurgle in her chest/ throat. So could be. We will see, I am hanging on until we get to the two month appointment and see what they say. Just so sad to see a baby like this.
DeleteAre you using the Amber necklace for teething? So many friends swear by it! I already went and bought the necklace. I was not going to chance it after all this.
Andra, in my (albeit limited auntie) experience, the necklace WORKS. both of my nieces wire it from 3-4 months on and then popped out teeth with no outward fussing or anything outside normal.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm glad you're blogging again!!!
Call me if you need somebody to tap you out for a bit. Maisie and I are buds now.
ReplyDeleteI'm coming to you from the other side! Ella is 3 (years) now, but I don't think I'll ever forget those months of crying at the beginning. She's my second, and her big brother was a little fussier than some, but nothing like her colicky self. I breastfed for just over a year, and I learned that I could not eat any--Ahh-NY-- dairy while I was nursing her. I see that Maisie is on formula now, but could a lactose intolerance maybe be part of the problem? Our pediatrician said that a lot of babies have a delay in developing the enzyme to digest lactose or something (I can't remember exactly, I hadn't slept for 3 months). She's fine with dairy now, but even a little bit made her vomit until she was almost 2.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I know the struggle. I cried about having to take her anywhere, but especially grocery shopping because she would scream the entire time we were in Publix. I'm sure you know the scream; it's not a cute little waah waah and you're sweating and shaking by the time you get out of produce. I wish I had a magic cure to offer you. Just know that millions of us moms understand exactly what you're going through, and that it WILL get better.
I love your blog posts! I wish that I had blogged about all of the tough experiences I had with Patrick as a newborn. I really thought it would never get better, but now it's all a blur. I literally asked Ryan the other day if Patrick spit up a lot when in that age range and he looked at me like a crazy person because he was spitting up ALL the time...
ReplyDeleteWe definitely have some different struggles now, but it is nothing compared to the early days where he would sleep a collective 3 hours throughout the ENTIRE day and night, or when I went back to work and the only time I had with him was the super fussy "witching hour" into the super fussy "bedtime." I get it and I'm here for you :-)
I hope baby girl is out of her colic phase! If not like the other Moms said it will pass. Def ask about the dairy allergy...that is what it was for us. We love colic calm, but it is expensive as hell. My parents gave me my baby book from the hospital in 1984, it said give the baby watered down koolaid for colic...it is a wonder I am alive today! ;)
ReplyDelete