If I had one wish in this world it would be for Maisie to have a chance to meet and know two people who had a huge impact on my life. One being Daniel's dad and two being my Bachia (grandmother).

One of the worst days of my life was when my father-in-law passed away suddenly the day after our engagement party. He didn't get to attend our wedding, we didn't get to surprise him with our pregnancy announcement and Maisie won't get to ever meet him. It stings so much. I miss him and still get emotional to this day even though it's been six years. How has it been six years?

Dan Dennis is a man who once offered me $500 for Caesar. We took it as a joke, but I am sure he was serious. If he would do that for a dog, I am sure I would have never seen my baby had he still been here. He's a man that would make me laugh until my sides hurt and say the most inappropriate things that I would laugh at and the rest of the family would cringe. I feel I got robbed of my time with him because I only got four years. Better than nothing, but so much has happened in those six years.


Maisie would have loved that man. I'm sure he would have been at my house every day to see her. I can picture him telling Daniel and I we were doing it all wrong when it came to everything -- diapering, feeding and even the way she dressed. He'd want to put her car seat in the convertible so they could go motor around. It just tears me apart that she will miss out on these things. So we will do our best to tell her stories and show her pictures so that she can at least know what a wonderful person he was.

As for my Bachia, she is still alive at 92, however, she doesn't know anyone anymore. The last time I went to visit her was very hard for me. I visited her the day of my grandfather's funeral. I think I took my visit with her harder than saying goodbye to my grandfather. She wasn't the woman I remembered or wanted to remember. She was just there. As much as I talked to her and held her hand it crushed me to know she didn't know me.


I'm sure people will think that I am a terrible person for not going back to visit since then, but I don't want to have my memories of her in her current state. I want my memories the fun times -- going to Disney or the Polish Club, her cooking or traveling.

She was such a wonderful grandmother that did anything for my brother and me, so I am again crushed she has no idea I had a sweet baby girl. I can picture it now, she would dote on Maisie and want to spoil her even more than she spoiled us grandkids. She'd want to dress her in fancy outfits and teach her how to make pierogis. It almost hurts more knowing she's alive but will never know Maisie.


I promise my next post won't be such a bummer, but I felt I had to share how important these two people are to me and how I wish my daughter could feel that too.