Oh, the plans and aspirations I had before having Maisie were grand. Breastfeeding, babywearing and cloth diapering. Jesus, why didn’t you people tell me! I am sure there are plenty of times you wanted to tell me, but I understand holding back and letting the new mama figure it all out. I see myself doing that now and I am very cautious to hand out "advice" or tips.

We know how breastfeeding turned out. If you don’t know, you can read here.

Babywearing is fine. I wish I did it more, but it was a lifesaver during the colic stage.

However, let’s talk cloth diapering. When Maisie was born, I started her on disposables because it was just easier at that point and the cloth diapers I bought her were not for newborns. Every few weeks I would try to see if she was big enough for them. They finally fit her in the belly around 8 weeks, but her thighs were still too skinny and they were gappy. I haven’t tried them on her in a while to see if they would fit, but now that I am back to work, I am at the point of giving up before I even start. 

I wanted her to wear them and us get use to them while I was home. That didn’t happen. With everything else that went on her first three months of life, I just want something to be easy. I did my research, I know the pros and cons about each, but right now, I want to keep my head above water. We have finally hit a stride, a good point and I just don't know if I can add anything else to possibly disrupt that.

Maybe if I was a stay-at-home mom and could devote time to it, it would be more appealing at this stage. I hate laundry. It’s easy to throw things in the washing machine and dryer, but then you have to fold that stuff and put it away. I still have a heaping pile of clean laundry on my bedroom floor that I do not have the energy to put away.

And then there is daycare. Most daycares support cloth diapering, but how much more energy would that take in the morning to get my kid, her bottles and her diapers ready in the morning. And those women who take care of the kids, I feel like I could not ask them to do it. They are taking care of several kids at one time and I can barely take care of one at any moment in time.

The sad thing is I have a great stash of beautiful cloth diapers. Pockets, AIOs, Prefolds, everything. I bought several different kinds because I wanted to see what would work for us. I even bought the sprayer when I realized breastfeeding was out. The diapers were washed and prepped and ready to go, but I think it’s time to let that dream go. 

So go on, tell me "I told you so..." I can take it, I think.

Yet, I realize whether I cloth diaper or not, my kid will be fine. This is ringing true over and over.

Anyone want to buy some cloth diapers?

We made it. In one piece. I had heard so many things about “The Fourth Trimester” and at first never gave it any thought, but it is a real thing! If you have read any of my previous blog entries, you will know Maisie and I had a tough go at life for a while. However, as I eased myself back into work after 12 weeks off, she eased herself into a routine and it has been smoother sailing.

Now, I am not saying I have an easy baby. This girl fights day-sleep, she is alert and wants to know what is going on around her, and we still are dealing with the witching hour. Yet, this girl is now content on playing in a bounce chair, sleeping in a swing, sitting in her highchair while we cook food and sleeping pretty much through the night. I thank my lucky stars we are moving into greener pastures.

Of course, this all happened the week before I went back to work. She has been a gem for her Grammy during the week, something that I stressed about before I went back. Speaking of going back to work, the transition went better than I thought. I like my job, I knew Maisie was safe and I went off to work without any tears. The only time, in the two weeks since I went back, that I got upset is when she was awake and alert when I left. Most of the time, she is still sleeping when I leave so it makes walking out the door much easier. It has been fun to anticipate coming home and seeing her face as I walk in the door. She babbles constantly and I feel like it’s her way of telling me about her day, I love that.

Routine helps. Even when I am not home, I know when she is being fed, how much and when I can expect her naps. I think this also helps her to know what to expect no matter who is watching her. The routine has helped me figure out the cries – tired, hungry or dirty diaper. And the routine has helped her become a great night sleeper. *Fingers Crossed* It stays that way.

Now that I am out of the Fourth Trimester I get asked, “Ready for another?” Nope. I am not. I doubt I will ever have another baby. I am sure Daniel would love another – he says we make a really cute kid, I agree, but I do not want to ever have to go through that newborn hell again, nor do I want to tempt fate with another baby. So many people have told me I will change my mind, but I am standing pretty firm on this one. Those first 12 weeks took its toll on me and if I had another child, I would be afraid to go through that WITH Maisie around. It just wasn’t a pretty time. So my girl is very special, she’s it.

I am looking forward to what the next few months bring – sitting up, crawling and whatever other surprises she has in store for us. It seems like every day she’s doing something new.

My emotions are all over the place about returning to work. Ask me a month ago and I was eager to return to work. But with it staring me in the face, I have a lump in my throat. While I don’t feel that I am the stay at home mom type and she is in EXCELLENT hands, it seems it has caught up with me.

Excitement – I am excited about returning to work, having adult conversation, doing a job I really love. I am excited to see work friends, catch up and just getting back in that routine, but it also leads to…

Fear – I am not sure how this new schedule will work out. Miss M and I have just been flying by the seat of our pants really. Yes, she is on a feeding and somewhat sleeping schedule but will all that be upset by mommy’s new schedule? Although, I still feel…

Relief – Since my mother-in-law is watching her, I know she is in good hands. She will be loved and taken care of to the fullest extent. She will not want for anything and with Daniel working from home, he is only a few steps away. But that makes it…

Sad – He will get to see her and kiss her whenever he can. My mother-in-law will get to see little milestones that I will only discover when I get home. There are plenty of things that make going back to work sad, but I am trying to be strong.

All in all, I think me going back to work is good for Maisie and me. We will get to miss each other, and the time we spend together will be that much sweeter. I will get to use my brain again for things beyond baby and feel creative again. So yes, I am emotional about going back to work. If I see you on Tuesday or even Wednesday, there might be a tear in my eye, my voice might quiver a bit but know all is fine and this is just growing up… for all of us.

Maisie Lucille. When people ask me what Daniel and I named our baby and I say “Maisie Lucille,” many times we are met with “Oh, that’s interesting. How did you come up with that name?” They aren’t saying it to be mean, I think they are more saying it because they haven’t ever met a Maisie or heard that name used often.

Before we got pregnant whenever I heard a name I liked I wrote it down in my phone. I have Zooey, Heidi, Leighton and Willow, among some other boy names. I really leaned toward Willow, however Daniel wasn’t was into it. We kept discussing names and when we for sure found out she was going to be a girl, Daniel suggested Maisie. One of his grandmothers was known as Grand Maizy and the other was Byrdie Lucille. As much as I love Byrdie, I am sure my kid would have killed me had we settled on that. So when he suggested Maisie Lucille, I fell in love with it. It’s quirky without being too crazy and means something to our family.

Now, how were we going to spell it. There are several ways to spell it – Maisie, Maizy, Maizie, Maisy, and the list could go on. We discovered the British spelling – Maisie – and it felt right to us. No other reason other than it looked and sounded nice. It is the same spelling as Maisie Williams, Arya Stark, on Game of Thrones, but I promise you we didn’t pick it because we are big Game of Thrones fans. We also found out that there is a children’s cartoon named Maisy Mouse! How perfect for her to enjoy as she gets older.

We didn't really tell anyone outside immediate family what we were going to name her, because everyone always has an opinion. Most people aren't going to tell you to your face they hate the name but you can read people's faces. I never wanted to second guess her name once we picked it out and someone's adverse reaction could have made me second guess it. It's harder to hate on a name when it's attached to a cute little baby.

Here’s the lowdown on Maisie:

Maisie, a hundred-year-old favorite, meaning pearl or child of light. Spelled Maisy in a popular children's book series, Maisie is rising in tandem with cousin Daisy. While Maisie might be short for Margaret, Mary, or even a name like Melissa or Marissa, it stands perfectly well on its own.

In literature, Maisie is the name of the precocious young title character in the Henry James novel What Maisie Knew, and is also the main female character in Rudyard Kipling's The Light That Failed. And to bring things up to date, Maisie is a half-blood character in the Harry Potter series.

Maisie re-entered the US Top 1000 in 2014 at 658, making it one of the fastest rising names of the year; she's still got a way to competing with her English counterparts - in the UK, Maisie is in the Top 50.

I can’t wait to see how she grows into the name and makes it her own.

Oh, and it’s not May-C, it’s May-Z. 

Daniel and I are really lucky to have his mother watching the little one until she is six months, but that means we need to find a daycare soon as the months are ticking by fast!

We went and toured Bright Horizons near our house and while it’s beautiful with great curriculum and SO convenient, the price is outrageous. I don’t think the location can justify paying so much.

We have two others to tour, both currently have a waiting list with one fairly close and one further than we would like, but both with everything we are looking for in a daycare. Both come HIGHLY recommended but each come at a cost. Daniel and I will just have to discuss what we can and cannot give up when it comes to a daycare. Before we had Maisie, daycare was one stress that slowed me down from wanting to have a baby. How crazy is that – daycare?! It’s the cost. Everyone wants to give their kid the best and when you can’t afford to send them where you want to send them it’s stressful and sad.

It’s so maddening how much daycare costs. I was reading a book before Maisie was born called “Bringing Up Bebe.” The book is written by an American woman who raises her daughter in Paris. She goes on to explain several differences in how the French women raise children. While I don’t agree with everything in the book, the daycare part really stuck with me.

“The French have all kinds of public services that surely help make having kids more appealing and less stressful. Parents don’t have to pay for preschool, worry about health insurance, or save for college.

Many get monthly cash allotments—wired directly into their bank accounts—just for having kids.”

They don’t have to pay for preschool and daycare is subsidized by the state on a sliding scale for people based on income so everyone can afford it. The author goes on to say she had her reservations about a government program for her child, but that she was pleasantly surprised with the care her daughter received and ended up sending three kids there. Want to read more from her on daycare in the United States? Read here.

So we continue our search and although it might put us in the poor house, it’s all for the babe and that’s really what life is all about now.

I wanted to share Maisie’s bedroom as Daniel and I are pretty excited and proud of how it came out. Many baby rooms are very pink or very blue based on gender and very baby.

It started when I found an Orange Bird pillow at Disney early on in my pregnancy. Daniel and I knew we wanted to build the room around it. I wasn’t sure how we would do it but we started collecting anything Orange Bird. It was easier to envision it because a lot of the Orange Bird stuff is no longer around nor is it available anymore.

First, why Orange Bird? Orange Bird is significant for Daniel and I because he represents Florida and Disney. Daniel and I are both native Floridians and our daughter would also be a native so we wanted to pay homage to our love for our state, but we also wanted the room to represent our love for Disney, without being all characters or princesses. If you aren’t familiar, Orange Bird was the mascot for the Florida Citrus Growers back in the 1960s & 1970s and then became a mascot for the Sunshine Tree Terrace within Adventureland at Magic Kingdom. Daniel remembers back in the day visiting and interacting with Orange Bird and so he has always held a special place in his heart. Want more on Orange Bird? Click here.

So we had the pillow, next was to find other things we could build the room around. We learned that in Japan, Orange Bird was HUGE. Disney brought the character back and a lot of merchandise. I found a baby Orange Bird stuff animal and purchased that. We also found on eBay a record from in the 1970s that was released with songs from the Sherman brothers. There are a few records on eBay, however so expensive! I was lucky enough to find a decently priced one that I framed as a focal point in the room. A friend found another Orange Bird stuff character at the parks and grabbed it for us (we hadn’t been to the parks after it got too daunting for me to walk around in the heat).

Since we also wanted this room to be very Florida, we hit up some souvenir stores on International Drive to find “very Florida” gifts. We bought an alligator head, shark in a bottle, Florida map plate and Orange Florida paper weight. We hung IKEA shelves to put all these knick knacks on display and added a few other things that are special to us.

All the little things began to come together. But what about the big area behind the crib? Daniel woke up on a Sunday morning and told me he knew what he wanted to do. He gathered up several old Florida posters and even some old Disney posters and had them reprinted. Once we had the posters he used wallpaper paste and we made a huge collage behind the crib. I love how it came out and it really represents our personalities.

Later down the road we were gifted an amazing carved baby Orange Bird from our friend de Tiki. We also received a cool Orange Bird ornament from China, as well as an official Sunshine Tree Terrace poster from the parks. Thank you to everyone who helped to make this room special!

The furniture (dresser, bedside table and toy box) was build by my great grandfather in the 1960s from wood he gather on his land in Tennessee. It has been passed from family member to family member and I am very lucky to have it. It even has a queen bed that we will move into the room when she is big enough. I used and IKEA organizer for the closet and baskets that made it look like orange baskets. And of course, the crib is new! Luckily, we didn’t have to paint the walls and the carpet was fresh.

Daniel and I really love the room and it is our hope that as Maisie gets older she will love it too and keep it forever! Ha.

Colic. You Bitch.

You have taken what is supposed to be a great bonding time with my newborn and made it so stressful!

If I never heard the word colic ever again it would be too soon. Most people know colic as the endless crying from a newborn, but I am not sure many people have experienced the epic, hours long crying I have to deal with almost on a daily basis.

It’s work to deal with a colicky baby. As I write this she finally went to sleep. It’s 3 p.m. and she had been up since 7 a.m. No nap, two poops and several ounces of food. So what did she do in the middle of all that? Mostly cry. She’d cry if she was in one position too long, she would cry if she was set down, she would cry if she was held, she would cry sometimes with the bottle in her mouth, she would cry if she had a clean diaper… endless.

The terrible thing about colic is there is NOTHING. YOU. CAN. DO. There are things that help – the gas drops and probiotic but most of the time it’s you just trying anything and everything to have her not cry. Bouncing, walking, rubbing, soothing, anything! But it’s hard when your baby doesn’t want a pacifier. We’ve tried the Happiest Baby on the Block, but as I have written about before she hates the “traditional” swaddle and pacifier, so I am down two S’s.

It’s so sad as a parent to go through this. At some point you end up just crying with them. Because there is NOTHING. YOU. CAN. DO.

My only solace is that colic doesn’t last forever. At some point I will have my baby back. I will have time to bond with her and love her like I thought I would from the get-go. There is a light at the end of the tunnel but when you are in it, it’s so hard to see. My visions of us strolling through the mall or outside before I went back to work are gone. Colic usually lasts three months, sometimes more and I go back to work when she is three months. It is just too stressful for me to go out and worry if she is going to “explode” into a fit. People look at you, they judge you and they wonder why you can’t control your kid. I know I shouldn’t care what people think, but I am not going to go out to eat and ruin someone else’s dinner or time outside. I’ll just wait it out.  

I thought before I had her I would host a ‘Sip & See’ so friends and family could come over and we would snack and show off the baby. Once I realized what was happening I quickly removed that from my calendar and thought process. I have put off friends from coming over because having a constantly fussy baby is not only tiring, it is embarrassing. Why? Because again it makes you seem like you don’t know how to be a parent. And so many people will say, “Don’t talk like that! She’s a newborn, they cry.” It’s more in my head. It’s hard to visit and show off a baby who is screaming bloody murder. And I don’t want people to see this beautiful little girl act like a monster. I’m tired, I’m worn out and then she’s a crazy person. So if I have put you off coming to see her, know I am sorry but it’s hard right now.

For those friends that have been there and reached out, thank you. To be able to commiserate helps. To know it gets better helps.

So let’s get real – instead of only posting smiling and sweet sleeping baby pictures, this is what it is mostly like:

Just because I needed to read more about what I was dealing with here are two blogs that I screamed yes, yes, yes to when reading. Everything they talked about, I felt like I was writing it. So if you feel you want to put yourself in my shoes read this and this. Even though with the second I am not post-colic I still feel a bit of jealousy when I see or hear people enjoying their sweet baby.

Ps. She woke up 30 minutes into writing this.. more crying.. from 3:30 until when I bathed her at 8 p.m. and she finally went to sleep… this is my mom life.

Let’s talk about what is working well for us! Yay, happy things.

Love to Dream™ Love To Swaddle UP

            We tried the traditional swaddle. We wrapped with blankets, we wrapped with the easy-to-use Velcro swaddles – nothing worked. This girl screamed BLOODY MURDER every time we got her in one of those things and then wiggled so much that the hands were out and the swaddle failed in 10 minutes. We knew we needed to swaddle for her sleep and ours. I went browsing around Buy Buy Baby and ran across the Swaddle UP. I think one of the big reasons swaddling wasn’t working for us is that she wanted her hands up. When I was delivering her we had to wait while the doctor moved her hand that was up near her face so I could push her out. Every sonogram we have, her hands are near her face, so of course, she wants her hands up. Even when we swaddled with her hands up, they weren’t high enough. I cannot rave enough about the Swaddle UP. It’s easy to change her in it and she still can have her hands near her face. I actually just ordered the next stage of this swaddle – the UP 50/50. So when she can start rolling over you zip the “wings” off, but she still has the bottom wearable blanket.

HoMedics SoundSpa Lullaby Sound Machine

            Why I didn’t have a white noise machine before I had her, I don’t know. I think I believed that because Daniel and I sleep with two fans, which are seriously loud, that we would be OK. No, not OK. I bought this sound machine at the same time I bought the swaddle and it helped with sleeping so much. I run it on the ocean sound because it sounds the most like white noise and it’s loud. When I turn it on, her eyes immediately get heavy and start rolling back in her head. She now knows that it means sleep. I really don’t know if Daniel and I are going to be able to sleep in our room without it. It has a built-in projector to put things on the ceiling, but we use this strictly as a sound machine for now. There are some bad reviews on it because of that projector but it’s a great little sound machine.           

Gerber Soothe Probiotic Drops

            When we switched to formula she had bad gas. She worked really hard to try and pass it but was uncomfortable a lot of the time. The doctor suggested we put her on a probiotic to see if that helped soothe her belly pain. After being on them a little more than a week they seem to have helped her. We still have one episode a day where she appears uncomfortable and takes a while to pass a poop or gas but these drops, expensive (really expensive for how small this bottle is) as they may be, have helped us take a turn in her fussiness.

Placenta Pills

            If you don’t like hearing about placentas skip to the next! After her birth I had my placenta encapsulated by Amanda, my doula. I think this really helped me keep a level hormone balance in the days and weeks that followed her birth. As mentioned before I had some issues with breastfeeding and I think my issues with that could have been a lot worse had I not had the pills to level things out. I highly recommend women to do it to help with your hormones. I have some left that I will take when I feel crazy or at my first period.

Ergobaby Original Collection Dewdrop Baby Carrier or baby wearing in general

            I really wanted to baby wear. LIKE REALLY BAD. I was given two slings, I bought a Solly wrap, was gifted an Ergo and a Mei Tai. When M was born I tried to use the Solly right away and it didn’t go well. She cried and hated it. I was so sad because I wanted to do it. Next time I tried the Ergo and she loved it. She fell asleep and was calm in it. We use it to walk to the mail box or calm her around the house if she’s fussy. I haven’t used it out yet because we haven’t really gone out, but I can’t wait to try it. Last week I tried the Solly again and she did well in it. I think I was wrapping wrong and now I have it down. I need to keep practicing with baby wearing because I know she likes to be close to me. I am taking this as a win, even if it hasn’t been tested to its full potential.

Schedule

            I know babies don’t really have a schedule. Like none at all. Well last week a friend reached out to me to tell me about how she got her son to sleep through the night. She uses Moms on Call. It’s a book and way to schedule your baby’s day. I implemented it, without reading the book, last week and our days have gotten way better. She’s still not sleeping through the night, but the days are good. She’s taking naps and not just catnaps and eating well. At night we are getting longer stretches of sleep so I am going to take that for now. I am going to give it another week or two and if it continues to work I am going to grab the book. I don’t want to be tied down too much to a schedule but it is making our lives much better.

Do you have your baby on a “schedule”? I’d love to know more about it.

I appreciate everyone who reached out and left me a nice note about my breastfeeding struggles. It’s funny because so many people said they went through the same thing, or they understand because it was hard for them, but why does no one ever talk about how hard it is? I knew having a baby and raising a newborn would be a struggle, but I never thought it would be this hard.

Social media makes everyone look like they have it all together. The bad – screaming, gas, breastfeeding issues, poop (got pooped on for the first time over the weekend!), late nights… it’s never discussed unless it’s in a close-knit mommy group where you feel like you can be open and honest. Well here I am being open and honest – it sucks!

I feel sometimes like my kid never sleeps and why is she crying even after I have changed her and fed her? All the classes and books say you’ll figure out their cries – I still have no idea. Is it too early to figure them out? Why does she not sleep when her eyes are heavy, rolling back in her head? It’s like she has toothpicks in her eye lids to hold them open and will fight it so much. And then when you Google or read online other mommies had their babies sleeping at 5 or 6 weeks? OMG that makes me want to cry.

BUT, I know I am the one putting the stress and pressure on myself. I recognize it. I am the one striving to be the best mom and it’s tough. I can see why people wear and break down. I need to learn how to let go and relax a little.

And, it all hasn’t been bad. We have had some successes and some products that have made life easier. (I will blog about those at a later time.) I love my girl to death. She is adorable and looks just like her dad. I think she has his personality – oh lordy! I can’t wait to dress her up, take her out and be my mini me. That’s why you have kids right?

Again, thanks for all the positive feedback. It’s nice to know other people struggled and made it through.

For those that went back to work… I’d love to know how the transition went and what I can do to make it go smooth.

I know this post is meaningless to some but I wanted to get Maisie’s birth story down on “paper” so it’s there to remember and available to whomever so they can take what they want from it.

Before I even gave birth, I had developed a birth plan with some assistance from my doula, Amanda, and my own research. I reviewed it with one of the doctors in my OB office and was happy with the birth I had planned for myself. I am sharing it here.

As you can see, I was not opposed to medicine, but I wanted the least intervention as possible until I was ready. I wanted to see how far I could go on my own. I also had strong feelings about being with my baby right after she was born. Thankfully, the doctor I reviewed my birth plan with is the doctor who delivered Maisie, so she was up to speed and we had already come to agreement on anything she wasn’t comfortable with.

So, on with the story.

The week of June 8 my OB said that she believed I wouldn’t make my due date of June 28, this is because at my appointment I was already 4cm dilated and 80 percent effaced. To put it in perspective, many first time moms go past their due date and are induced at 0/0, so basically I was halfway to where I needed to be to push out a baby.

That following weekend I thought I should finally get all my stuff in order. The bag was packed, we washed and cleaned the car and cleaned the house. I am sure going up and down the stairs in my house helped things along. I was also drinking Red Raspberry tea, and trying anything natural to move things along. By this point I was over being pregnant.

Sunday, June 14, Daniel and I just laid around until he needed to get ready to go to the Orlando City Soccer Game. As he got up to change I felt a pop in my belly. It was very different from the kicks I had been feeling so I got up to use the restroom. When I hit the restroom I knew my water had broke because water came gushing out. I yelled to Daniel, “Come here, I don’t think you’re going to the game!”

I started shaking because I was both terrified and excited. It was finally time to meet the baby girl, but what was ahead of me was all foreign so I was nervous at what the future held. I called Amanda and let her know what happened. She was great at talking me through the next steps and what I needed to do at home before I went to the hospital. At this point it was 3 p.m. and I didn’t have any contractions. Daniel and I sat down at the kitchen table while he had a quick drink to calm his nerves and me to collect my thoughts.  We left for the hospital around 4 p.m.

I hung out in triage for a while, not sure the timing here, but Amanda and my parents started showing up. As I am sitting in triage, my water just kept gushing. At one point I had to change my pants because I had soaked through them, even though I had taken every precaution not to.  I started to feel small contractions as I was sitting in triage waiting to be taken back. Once I was taken back, Daniel joined me and that is when the process started for taking vitals, and seeing where we were. I was 5cm and 100 percent effaced. So moving along nicely.

I think by 7 p.m. I was finally taken to labor and delivery to continue the birth process. I had an AWESOME nurse named Natalie and found out my favorite OB (there are seven doctors in my OB office) was on call. She came and chatted with me and we talked through the next steps. I was also her only delivery that night so she could spend her time with me, a nice thing to know, as the contractions got stronger.

Contractions were coming more frequent and I was waiting to get a wireless monitor so I could continue the process out of the bed. However, things were moving really fast and the wireless monitor wasn’t received by the time the pain got really bad.

Not sure of the time here, but by the time I was 8cm and trying other birthing positions, I said the magic word and got an epidural. The pain was really severe and I was screaming, something I didn’t really want to do. But I am happy I did get the epidural because I was able to “enjoy” the process more. I didn’t get the “walking” epidural but for some reason I was still able to feel my legs and use them throughout the process. It did take the edge off the pain so then I felt better. Soon after however, it was time to start pushing. Basically, I felt like my body was making me push so the doctor and nurse decided it was time to push. This was at a little before midnight.

Amanda was amazing because she talked me through pushes, and reminded me where to push and kept me calm. She never tried to change my mind about any decisions and was a great liaison between the nurse and doctor if I was unsure. She also was a help to remind me to have a popsicle or ice so I wouldn’t get dehydrated. Daniel was also great just being there for support. He was a champ through the whole thing and tried to keep my mind off the pain by giving me updates to the Orlando City Soccer score – they won! And talking about other things that were not birth related.

I tried four pushing positions until I found the one I liked the best and that was most effective. It was a piece of stretchy cloth over a bar and I would pull myself into the crunch position using the cloth and then push. After about an hour and a half, Maisie Lucille made her appearance. But that wasn’t before she wanted to come out with her hands up and the doctor had to rearrange her. Talk about pain!

Little Miss was a healthy 7 pounds 4 ounces and 21.5 inches long at 1:32 a.m. on June 15. She has a cute little angel kiss birth mark on her leg and a nice head of hair, surprising since I didn’t have nay hair when I was born.

All in all I was very happy with my experience, as I went with my birth plan, and it was fairly quick and the pain was manageable. Not that I had ever gone through that much pain in my life, but it was over before I knew it.

Daniel and I stayed in the hospital two nights and then asked to go home if it was possible. They said yes, so we were home by Tuesday, June 16 and then we were on our own!

I’ll post more about being on our own, our challenges, triumphs, what works and doesn’t work for us and anything else I am finding to talk about.

I am using this blog as a way to share my feelings, not only for someone else to read, but also as therapy for myself. I normally am writing everyday for a living, so having this outlet really helps.